A Mother's Affection
by symphonycirrus
Summary: Ambrose helps Azkadellia reconcile with her mother.
1. Chapter 1

This is a continuation from my story "Words Can't Express". Reading the other one first may be helpful, but isn't necessary to understanding this story.

As always, I heart reviews!

And...sciffy rules all...and I do not.

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Azkadellia sat on a white marble bench in the palace garden, next to the central fountain. It was a beautiful day. The morning sun filtered through the carefully landscaped trees, the leafy shadows on the path dancing as a gentle breeze waltzed through the branches. She lay back on the hard bench, putting her hands behind her head and crossing her ankles. The thought crossed her mind that her mother might find this position unladylike, but she really didn't care. The only sound she could hear was the hiss the fountain water. The sky was very blue today. A single white puffy cloud floated overhead. DG sometimes saw shapes in the clouds, but Az wasn't as good at those things. She was wondering what DG might say this cloud looked like when Ambrose's grinning face filled her view. 

"I thought I might find you here."

She sat up, smoothing her green skirt and making room for him as he joined her on the bench.

"I have a new appreciation for this place lately. It's so beautiful out here."

"I noticed you added some flowers from the Papay recently. They look nice on the entranceway arch."

A smile briefly touched her lips, pleased that he noticed. "I brought them back after DG and I visited the Fields and restored the trees. They're one of Mother's favorites."

"I'm sure she appreciates them."

Az's face fell and she shook her head. "She hasn't said anything. I doubt she even saw them."

"Why is that?"

"She never notices what I do. Unless it's something bad. 'Azkadellia, sit up straighter. Azkadellia, that is inappropriate language. Azkadellia, that dress is dreadfully short.' Apparently, showing my calves is indecent exposure. As if after a decade running around in that ridiculous getup the witch had, my greatest wish is to wear more shameless clothing."

Ambrose sighed, and took her hand. He looked her right in the eye. "She's grooming you to be queen, you know."

Az snorted and stood up, pacing. "I don't think so. After everything that's happened, no one will trust me to rule. Besides, DG is Mother's _angel_."

"DG grew up on the other side. She's not well versed in O.Z. customs, history, geography, economics, politics-"

"Ambrose, from the people's perspective, I am the same person that overthrew the Queen and attempted to send their land into eternal darkness. And from Mother's perspective…" she paused, facing away from him, and closed her eyes. Ambrose stood and came over to her, putting his hand on her shoulder. She turned to face him, eyes brimming with tears. "She won't even touch me. She hates me."

Ambrose drew her into an embrace. "That's not true, Az."

"You don't see it." She said softly. "The night of the eclipse. I came into the room, seeing my parents as me, and me alone, for the first time in sixteen years. She wouldn't touch me. DG came in and it was all hugs and kisses for her. Only Daddy paid me any attention."

Ambrose could tell she had been holding this inside for the past three months. "Az, you should tell her how you feel."

She shook her head. "I get so nervous around her. All my thoughts would fly right out of my head and I'd stand there like a babbling idiot, giving her new reasons to chastise me."

"Then take time to consider your thoughts and order them. Write her a letter." He grinned. "It worked for me."

Azkadellia was silent for a while. "What would I say?" she whispered.

"Everything you just said to me. Just phrased a little more politely."

Az thought for a minute. "You spend a lot of time with her, Ambrose. Would you help me?"

"If that's what you want, of course I will."

A ray of hope rose in Azkadellia. "Can you meet me in the library after supper?"

Ambrose smiled. "I'll be there."

"Az?" DG's voice called from the palace door.

"Time for lessons." Az gave Ambrose a quick kiss on the cheek before hurrying from the garden. "I'll see you later!" she called over her shoulder, leaving him a little bewildered as she flounced back to the palace.

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	2. Chapter 2

I hate to go so long between updates! Sorry!

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The last sliver of the second sun had just dipped below the horizon when Azkadellia pushed open the library doors. The orange light was streaming in through the window onto Ambrose, who was sitting at the table, thumbing through Ancient Languages of the Outer Zone. He looked up.

"Hi there."

She smiled and pulled up a chair next to him, setting a stack of writing paper and pen in front of her.

"Thanks so much for doing this, Ambrose."

It was his turn to smile. "What are friends for?"

Taking the pen in hand, she took one sheet of paper off the stack and pushed the rest to the side. She stared at the blank page for a moment, then looked up at him.

"What now?"

"Jot down what things you want to tell her. What do you want to make sure is included?"

Az bit the end of the pen in thought. "How much I missed her while I was gone."

"Good. Write it down. We're just taking notes. What else?"

She looked at the paper again, then up at Ambrose. "How I tried to fight the witch."

"Okay."

"How I'm sorry that I don't seem to be measuring up to her standards."

Azkadellia was writing furiously now. She got two-thirds of the way down the page and then froze. After a moment, she looked up at him with tear-filled eyes.

"Would it be inappropriate to ask her why she didn't save me?" she whispered.

A sad smile crossed Ambrose's face and he took her hand in his. "You're writing to your mother, not to a queen. Whatever's on your heart, Az. Put it down."

She nodded and wrote it down.

"Is that everything?" He asked gently.

"I think so."

"Okay, now we need to put these in an order that makes sense. What do you want to say first?"

They worked until long after dark. Ambrose glanced up at the ancient grandfather clock in the corner as Azkadellia crumpled another sheet of paper and threw it to the side.

"It's almost midnight, Az."

Azkadellia looked up at the clock, growled, then banged her head on the table. "I'm never going to get this right! She's going to think I'm completely incompetent."

Ambrose reached over and gently lifted the pen from her hand while sliding the small stack of paper away from her. "It's late. You're tired." Lifting up the top page, he scanned the writing. "This is a good start. Let it sit overnight and we can continue tomorrow."

She ran her fingers through her hair and sighed. "All right. Meet me here tomorrow after my lessons?"

"As soon as I'm done with the 3:00 agriculture briefing." They stood up and Ambrose pushed in her chair. "May I escort you to your residence, Princess?" he asked formally, smiling.

A small smile graced Az's lips as she took his arm. "Why, thank you, good sir."

"Ambrose, you've been so sweet to me lately. I really appreciate it." Az confessed as they approached her room. "Most people avoid me like a contagious disease."

"Not the important ones. Everyone else will come around."

"That's what everyone says. Sometimes I'm just not sure."

They stopped in front of her door. Ambrose took her hands in his. "Azkadellia, you are a beautiful, smart, thoughtful, witty, caring woman. You just need to show everyone."

Her face softened and she hugged him tightly. "I don't know what I'd do without, you."

He was grinning as she stepped back. "Good night, Azkadee."

She reached back and turned the door handle, biting her lower lip. "Good night, Ambrose."

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	3. Chapter 3

Thanks for your patience, my life has been a little crazy lately, I broke off my engagement last week and the ex is moving out and blah blah blah. Anyways, now to the part you're interested in!

Thanks to all who reviewed! Special thanks to Ginnia for planting this little Az/Lavender plot idea in my head a while back...

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It was a rainy afternoon. Dark clouds had covered the sky all day, finally exploding around noon in a downpour. It had softened to a depressing drizzle by the time Azkadellia arrived at the library with her paper and pen.

She had completed a rough draft, but kept struggling with a few sentences she was not happy with. She wrote another copy, changing some words around. Unsatisfied, she crumpled it up and tried again. When Ambrose entered twenty minutes later, she had a small mountain of discarded paper on the floor next to her chair.

"How is it coming?" He asked, eying the paper pyramid with amusement.

She glared up at him from her current copy.

He put his hands up in mock surrender. "Okay, okay. What's giving you trouble?" As he pulled up a chair next to her, she slid the letter over to him.

"The end. I need a word here."

Ambrose studied it for a moment. "Favor. And change this one to 'fulfill'."

Az's eyes narrowed in concentration. "Yes." Her pen scratched out what was written. "Okay, now read the whole thing."

He picked up the page and started reading from the beginning.

_Dear Mother,_

_I feel there are many things that have been left unsaid between us since the defeat of the witch, and I wish to get some of them off my chest._

_I missed you so much, Mother. It hurt immeasurably to see the things the witch was doing to you and our family. I could see, hear, and feel everything that was going on, but I was merely a spectator in my own body. It was like a 16-annual long nightmare. _

_I feel the need to apologize often for things the witch has done, but a friend made me promise to only ask forgiveness for things I had control over. I will then say that not a day goes by that I don't wish I had followed my instincts, thrown little DG over my shoulder, and carried her bodily from the cave. I fought the witch fiercely at first, but after DG's death, I realized it was pointless. I couldn't even stop her from murdering my sister. I gave up. One question has been eating away at me since that day. I don't mean to affront you, but I need to know. Why didn't you fight for me? In all my years, you never tried to exorcise the witch. It was as if you believed me to be an acceptable loss. _

_Being alone in my head again after the witch's demise was shocking at first. The adjustment to a normal life has been challenging for me, particularly since my face was the one that oppressed the OZ for the last several annuals. Perhaps that is the reason you avoid me so? I am sorry that I don't seem to be meeting your standards of late. I do try to please you, and I am doing well in all of my lessons. _

_I am beginning to think that perhaps my actions are not to blame, but that you will forever associate me with the witch. I understand that I can never become Queen, but I would be distraught if my own mother could never look me in the eye again. _

_How can I regain your favor, mother? I see you so affectionate with DG and try not to be jealous, but you haven't touched me since I was 15. I am sorry that I don't fulfill your expectations. Please tell me if there is anything more I can do._

_I always have been, and remain_

_Your loving daughter,_

_Azkadellia_

"It's very good." He said as he reached the end.

"Do you think she'll respond to it?"

He looked at her earnestly. "Az, I know you don't think so, but she does love you. Just wait and see."

Even though she was still skeptical, she nodded.

They sat together as she wrote out a final draft in her neatest handwriting. The completed letter was carefully folded into thirds and tucked into Az's pocket.

She sighed, and turned to face Ambrose.

"Sometimes I wish I had just turned and run from the cave. Just left DG. Then she would have gotten the witch. Maybe then I could have been the daughter drawn to the light." She mused before her face turned serious. "I know that makes me sound terrible."

"No, it sounds like a perfectly normal thought to me. Az, have you ever thought that maybe you _are_ the daughter drawn to the light?"

Her brow furrowed in pure confusion. "That's not possible."

"Isn't it? Who was it that heard the witch from outside the cave?"

"Well, Deej, but-"

"And who needed help using her light magic?"

"Again, Deej, but-"

"So, logically, who would most likely be the dark one?"

She was silent for a moment as she drifted into her thoughts. "I never thought about it that way."

He looked at her, grinning slightly, before he turned his attention back to the letter. "Are you going to give her the letter today?"

Snapping back to the present, she scratched her head. "I think I'll leave it in her study. I hope I'm not making a mistake." Her chair legs dragged across the floor as she pushed away from the table and stood up. Ambrose followed suit.

"No matter what happens, at least you've told her how you feel, right?"

She nodded, still worried, avoiding his gaze.

He stepped closer to her, and she looked up as he reached out and tucked a stray lock of hair behind her ear. "It'll be okay, I promise, Az."

His hand lingered for a moment against her skin. Her heart started beating twice as fast as she realized just how close he was. That look in his eyes made her want to dissolve. He paused for a moment, giving her a chance to back away. When she didn't, he leaned in and gently brushed his lips against hers. All of Azkadellia's worries suddenly disappeared and he was the only thing in her mind. She immediately responded, kissing him back. It was so gentle, so unlike anything she had experienced in the past sixteen annuals.

It was then she knew he was right – no matter what happened, as long as she had him, everything would be okay.

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	4. Chapter 4

Again, thanks for the reviews!

Special thanks to Ginnia for helping me climb inside the queen's head a little :)

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Azkadellia paced back and forth across her bedroom floor, wringing her hands and chewing on her lower lip. _This was a mistake_, she kept telling herself. She had placed the letter on the desk in her mother's study just fifteen minutes prior. _I shouldn't have done this. Maybe there's still time to get it back_. She stood still. _If I hurry, I can probably get there before she's out of her meeting._ She exited her room and half-walked, half-ran down the hall. _Down the staircase, past the library, turn right-_

And she ran headlong into Ambrose coming the other way. He quickly reached out and caught her arm before she fell backwards.

"Slow down, Azkadee, what's the hurry?"

She straightened herself. "This was a bad idea, if I hurry, I can get the letter back before she sees it." She tried to continue past him, but he held her arm firmly.

"Wait a minute, now."

"Look, I know we talked about all this, but I realized it's better to know without words that she can't stand me than for her to spell it out."

"Come on, Az, we talked about this."

"But if she responds and tells me I'm right about all this…" Tears sprung to her eyes and she looked down at the floor. "I don't think I could take it."

"Azkadellia." He said sternly. Her eyes shot up, surprised by his tone. His face was serious. "You cannot live the rest of your life in fear of rejection. You are nearly thirty annuals old and Princess of the Outer Zone. It's time to act like it."

For a moment, she just stared at him. Then, blinking several times, she collected herself and stood up tall.

His face softened. "That's better. Now how about we take a walk in the garden and you can show me the new plants we received as a gift from the Eastern Guild."

The walk was brief, but therapeutic for Az, who took the chance to clear her head and regain her nerve. It wasn't five minutes after Ambrose returned her to her room that she heard a soft knock at the door. She crossed the room, took a deep breath and exhaled before turning the knob and opening.

She was looking into the lavender eyes of her mother, whose regal air was strangely replaced with one of humility. "May I come in?" she asked softly.

Azkadellia stepped aside and then closed the door behind her mother, who made her way over to the vanity and sat down on the bench, facing into the room. Carefully walking back, Az situated herself on the edge of the bed and looked at the queen, trying not to betray the anxiety boiling in her chest.

For a moment, the queen looked down at her carefully folded hands. Then she raised her head, her face showing pain that Az had never seen before.

"Oh, my Azkadellia, I don't know where to start. I've failed you on so many levels, I don't know that it's possible to make amends for them all."

Stunned, Azkadellia tried to make sense of her mother's words. "Failed _me_, mother?"

"I apologize that I have been hard on you lately. I tend to behave more as a queen than a mother interacting with her daughter. If I find it hard to be close to you, it's because of how dreadfully guilty I feel about everything that happened to you.

"I knew the witch had taken you. My folly was in underestimating her patience. I assumed that she had taken you in order to get to me. It never occurred to me that she planned on staying in you. I began to formulate a plan, should she try to confront me and enter into me. I consulted my friend the Mystic Man and together we prepared. When instead she killed DG, I was shocked. I never expected her to be patient enough to wait as she did. She wasn't going to take me, she was going to wait me out in you.

"I was then faced with a decision no mother should have to make. I could fight the witch and save you, or I could revive DG. I chose the latter, hoping that there would yet be a way to free you. The Mystic Man, your father, and I altered our plans. Instead of me using the emerald to challenge the witch, it was hidden, waiting for DG to do what I was no longer capable of. We feigned her funeral and sent her into hiding.

"After the eclipse, I felt so awful about the nightmare you had endured, I kept my distance. It seems that at the times you need me the most, I let you down."

By the time she finished, Az could see the deep heartache in her mother's features. She wondered briefly if she could sense Az's overwhelming shock. Her mother was there, in front of her, asking for _her_ forgiveness.

She couldn't take it. Az quickly closed the distance between them and threw herself into the queen's arms, sobbing. "Oh Mother, I missed you."

"I missed you, too, my Azkadellia."

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	5. Chapter 5

I know, I am the worst author ever for not updating sooner! I hate those people that don't finish what they start! But spring break is here, and so is my muse, and I will attempt to complete this story!

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Azkadellia was again getting that deep-down feeling that she was making a mistake. She was sitting in DG's room, facing the mirror. _How did I get here again?_

Several days had passed since her heart-to-heart with her mother, and Az had never been happier. It was early morning and she had sat brushing her long hair when DG burst into the room.

"Hi!"

"Hi. Now, don't take this wrong, but aren't you supposed to be in your lessons?"

DG got that look on her face that might convince some people that she was about to tell the truth, but Az knew better. "Well, I um-"

"Uh huh. What is it today? Economic regions of the Southern Plains?"

Realizing she wasn't fooling anyone, DG's eyes became earnest. "Something like that. For real, Az, I think they're trying to kill me. I tried really hard, and I can't think of anything I'd hate learning more. I really tried." Her attention switched to her sister. "Doesn't that take forever?" she asked, indicating Az's hair.

"Yes. Some days I'm tempted to cut it all off and be done with it."

The younger sister's face lit up. "Oh, let's cut it! Please, please Az? I had a friend that went to school to cut hair and I made her teach me! Please, please please?"

Azkadellia's eyes were wide. "You want to cut my hair?"

"I won't do it too short, don't worry, you won't look like a guy or anything. It'll be so fun! Oh come on, Az!"

Somehow she had consented. DG was off in a flurry to find scissors and instructed her sister to meet in her room a half hour later. So here she was. She was about to back out when she heard a _snip_ and a very long chunk of hair fell at her feet.

Azkadellia's shocked look didn't escape DG's notice. "I promised not to cut it too short. Just trust me, okay?"

The oldest princess of the OZ gave her a look that said _if you're wrong, I will personally kill you_. DG continued on, taking different portions at a time, mumbling on about "layers" and such. Az just stared into the mirror, watching large amounts of dark hair fall away.

There was a soft knock at the door, and it opened to reveal their mother, who had been about to say something, but found herself frozen with her mouth open. DG strode over quickly, pushing her out of the room despite the queen's objections.

"We're not done yet, I don't want to hear it, we'll talk when I'm done!" She closed the door and turned the lock.

Twenty minutes later, despite her doubts, Az had to admit she liked it. Her hair now fell just past her shoulders, and layers made her usually-straight hair appear fuller. DG made her look at it from all angles in the mirror.

"What do you think?"

Azkadellia grinned. "I love it."

DG squealed and threw her arms around her sister. "Come on, let's show Mother."

Though she didn't voice her uncertainty, Az wasn't sure the queen would have such a positive response.

Their mother was in her study. Her eyes widened as DG presented Azkadellia and made her turn around in a circle.

"So what do you think?" DG asked.

Az bit her lip, waiting.

The queen's look of surprise melted into a smile. "Why, it frames her face quite nicely."

DG let out a "Squee!" and hugged Azkadellia again, who returned it enthusiastically.

"Now girls, I was hoping to talk to Azkadellia; as DG should be in lessons now if I'm not mistaken."

DG's face fell. Az tried to give her a reassuring look as she shuffled out of the room.

"Come, Azkadellia, let's walk in the garden."

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	6. Chapter 6

It was a lovely morning. Azkadellia enjoyed the sun on her face as she entered the palace gardens with her mother.

"The flowers from the Papay are lovely. I don't believe I mentioned that before." The queen noted. Az glowed inside. As they came to a bench by the central fountain, her mother took a seat and indicated that her daughter should do the same.

"I know I have been hard on you lately. I do apologize for that. But I want you to know why it is that I seem so critical. I know you consider yourself unfit for the throne after your ordeal, but I have come to disagree."

Az was pretty sure her stomach dropped into her shoes. She blinked twice, resisting the urge to pinch herself. "Disagree?"

"You have proven yourself to be quite well-versed in matters of state and diplomacy. You have the patience required to survive endless meetings and a level head to consider many points of view. You do not wear your thoughts on your sleeve as your sister does, nor are you prone to rash action as she is.

"At first, I was concerned that public perception may be against you, but you have such a different demeanor, and now, appearance as well, that any who come into contact with you would never mistake the two. You truly want what is best for your people.

"Azkadellia, the day will come when I relinquish the throne, and when I do, you will be my successor."

She could find no words. Her mother did have confidence in her. A small tear leaked out of her eye as she threw her arms around the queen.

Az stayed in the garden after her mother had left. As soon as the queen was out of sight, she stood up on the bench, kicked off her shoes, and twirled around several times, grinning like a crazy person.

"Nice hair, Azkadee." A familiar voice from behind startled her, causing her to lose her balance and fall backwards into the fountain pool.

Ambrose rushed over as she sat up, soaking wet, feet sticking over the side. "I'm so sorry! Are you okay?"

She wiped the hair out of her face and looked up at his offered hand. Grinning, she took it, but instead of letting him help her out, she pulled hard and he tumbled in beside her. Now it was his turn to sit up, sputtering, as she laughed. He just stared at her, both confused and amused.

"Now what could your mother have possibly said that would leave you feeling this ridiculously happy?"

She scooted to sit right beside him in the water and whispered in his ear. "She trusts me to be queen." He smiled knowingly – of course he already knew. As he reached over and drew her into a kiss, Azkadellia finally knew she had a happy ending.

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I know, I know, but after all the stuff she went through, I though Az needed some disgustingly sticky-sweet happiness, so I gave her some :)

Thanks for sticking with me, I appreciate it!!

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